Friday, April 8, 2011

So what is my story?

You maybe wondering what I have to share in my story?  I've been thinking of this a great deal, how do I share it?  What is the purpose of telling my story? 

Honestly, the reason is a selfish one.  I need to never forget the journey that is my life, and how God has provided for me, had Mercy on me, Loved me, and the Graces He has provided for me.

I've written several drafts, all seem to ramble on about things I don't know if a reader will be interested in.  Maybe I will post them, maybe not.  For now, I thought I would skip ahead to the "Readers Digest version" and give you a glimpse of why I am sharing my journey.

Here is a snippet from a recent email to a friend:

In a nutshell..... so we can continue our getting to know each other.... I call myself a recovering feminist.  LOL
Once I walked with the attitude "I deserve", now I walk with the attitude, I will SERVE!"

I was raised in a devout, wonderful Irish Catholic family, large extended family, and went to a wonderful Catholic School.  To say I knew my faith would be an understatement!  I did, and do, very well.  But that didn't stop the world from getting a hold of me.  First it was drugs, then it was sex, with men and woman. All along, I could hear in my heart as if God Himself was always whispering to me..... come home My child, come back to me..... for the most part I ignored Him.

Long story short, I identified myself as a Lesbian, I had power, prestige, money, position, sports cars, toys and more toys, and lots of friends... I loved deeply, and cared for my friends, but there came a point where I knew I was not long for that world.... but I had no idea how I would find my way out. 

Examples of the constant struggle going on under the surface for me, I can remember telling my girlfriend how much I wished we could get married.  I didn't mean I wished the state would allow us to marry, I meant, I wish God thought it was OK to be married, but I knew He didn't, it didn't matter if the state did.  I also had very personal reasons (discussed in my second post,) to be pro-life, which was certainly not a very acceptable position to have in the lifestyle I was living in.

Suffice it to say that by 1986 God had waited enough, and began with a whisper, which I ignored, then with a 1x2, and I sorta heard Him, I have always been sick, always, it is what it is..... but He gave me illnesses that were not to be ignored, and I sort of turned back to Him, sorta..... by 1992 He resorted to a 4x6, since the 2x4 hadn't really gotten my attention, if you know what I mean.  I went down for the count, the final count.... I lost my friends, my awesome job, my identity, money, the whole works..... I was left with one choice, and thank GOD I was smart enough to recognize it.  When you realize you are potentially going to stand before Truth Himself at any moment, you either know you can defend your choices, or you can't..... I couldn't and I begged for Mercy, and He granted it to me!

There is so much more, the details, the suffering, and the joy of suffering that I want to share. 

I can remember as if it was last night the turning point.  It was a Tuesday, in June of 1995. By this time a long time friend that I really cared about, had shown up and told me she just couldn't be my friend anymore, my illness was just "to much."  I was hurt, to say the least.  I was flipping through channels on TV, when this nun showed up, complete in a full habit.  I stopped, listened, and she was responding to a caller who was talking about being Gay.  I didn't like her answer!  I picked up the phone, dialed the number on the TV and was going to tell this nun what I thought of her answer.  The show rolled credits, the nun said good night, and the phone was still ringing. 

Philip Golden answered the phone, I could hear the music of the end of the show on the phone, he asked me if I was aware the show was over, to which I explained I had never seen the show before.... a short conversation ensued, and he asked me in the most gentle voice for my name and address.  I gave it to him.  Within a few days, a package arrived, containing three tapes; Sister Bridge McKenna, Dana, Humble Myself, and Dana and Fr. Kevin Scanlon's Rosary. I popped them into the tape recorder, and listened to Humble Myself. Then the tears began to flow, and flow. 

The scales on my eyes, and my heart were starting to crumble. I had to listen to this Nun! 

There were many times I was blessed to talk to Mother Angelica, I treasure every conversation, all recorded on her classic's TV shows.  Mother Angelica had told me on more than one occassion, that I needed to offer my suffering up, in uniting it with Jesus's suffering, I was allowed to suffer purgatory on earth, and I do believe that is why my life turned around.  She also told me that I was able to help souls in purgatory.  The show forever etched on my heart she said to me, "Theresa, when you die, there will be many souls that come and thank you, and you will say for what?  They will say, that day you were in such pain, and anguish, and you offered it up for souls, when you said Jesus and Mary I love you, save souls, it was ME!  I was released from purgatory that day!  Thank you!"

I was bed bound for over 13 years, during which time I lived, breathed, and died on EWTN, on the Bible, and Catechism, I found out that in the poorness of being severely disabled, with everything taken away, I was the happiest I could have ever imagined!  Like the "donut man" says, life without Jesus is like a donut, there is a hole in the middle of your heart!

God was even more merciful, He gave me back my life, not my health, but my life, and in 08 I married a wonderful devout Catholic man, and have the life I dreamt of as a child.  God is so great.  Today I teach Catechism, and Confirmation, I volunteer for the Church as a Social Worker, and I live for my faith.


  1. There's no healing like God's healing :)

    Welcome Home!

    May the Holy Spirit put a hedge of protection around you as you go forth proclaiming His Wondrous Deeds!

  2. Hooray! Welcome home!! Mother Angelica? Wow, God brought in the big guns for you. Anything for Daddy's little girl!

    Congratulations and God bless you!

  3. Big guns, indeed! Thank you!

    Actually, long before Mother Angelica, the priest I speak of in my "a bit of my beginnings" post was always with me, in one way or another. He would talk to me by phone, and with the greatest love, try to help me see that while I thought I was being punished for all my wrong doings, God was showering me with His love.
    I was always rather thick headed, it took a lot for me to realize how blessed I was in my sufferings. It's only now, in retrospect that I wish I could share with each person the role they had in my reversion.
    Thank you for reading my story, God bless!

  4. Aloha Mrs. J.
    Our friend Lisa sent me here. You have an amazing reversion story!! I loved reading how EWTN had a hand in bringing you back home.
    God bless,

  5. Isn't it wonderful to be back home! What a story--I can't wait to hear more.

  6. Wow! Beautiful conversion story! Thank you SO MUCH for allowing Christ's light to shine through your holy witness!

  7. Thanks for sharing. I pray this finds someone who needs to hear it. A powerful witness.

  8. Theresa from a neighbor in Southern New England, a fellow blogger and BIG EWTN fan, welcome home!
    I am so happy to hear of your conversion, I am praying for a woman just like you for Lent, and your conversion gives me hope.

  9. Thank God for the the miraculous come back .Let us pray that many such individuals/sheep come back to Jesus.You are a wonderful person in the hands of God!

  10. Your story is such an inspiration, Theresa! I am blessed to know about you!


  11. I recall my mom telling me as a growing young teen something which I now believe must have come from her soul and/or spirit and what she said in so many words was that in every name there was a Saint included with our name when baptised.

    Although, I was an altar boy serving high Mass, I see "IT" NOW as just some kind of an ego trip of mine to try and please my parents and please don't get me wrong because as a still Catholic in a church which needs a lot of help which might need to go spiritually a long way to just after when Jesus was crucified over two thousand years ago and find His Apostles and Mother still waiting for U>S.

    Children need a lot of teaching especially today because as you've lovingly explained in your experiences, God always Has a spiritual Hear for any body good cell who come from a sincere heart and want to get out of a possible hell if you know what I mean?

    Anyway, as a teen, I recall this little girl who would come to our house and although we were poor, she had even less and she seem to have not much dignity cause she would do just about anything for her family just to get by.

    To make a long story short, let U>S (usual sinners) say that with no body around and less than .99999% good cells in our body, my older cousin and I told her that if she would pull her pants down and let U>S touch her, we would give her that pop bottle and for some reason I was the one incharge and my older cousin would have done whatever I said and to make another longer story short, her name was Theresa and let's just say that as far as I'm NOW concern, The Soul and/or Spirit of Saint Theresa disguised as a child was there cause Saint Theresa's Angels quietly made me feel so ashame that we let her go with the free pop bottle and I'm still ashamed of "IT".

    I can almost hear some thinking that I'm crazy for admitting such a thing in public but I honesly believe NOW that I'm no more crazy than when I was about 2 or so years old when mom and dad would take U>S to our small white church and let me run around and I would run in the back of the altar and a man sitting on a chair picked me UP and I remember no more about "IT".

    I hear ya! What does that have to do with confessing in public and possibly humiliating others for your so called crazy sake?

    I could go on and on but let U>S just say that there's nothing that can be hidden from God in the long run and just leave "IT" at that.

    I'll close by saying, welcome back Mrs. J. and please say a special prayer for me cause I also believe that we truly are made in God's Image where someday we'll team UP with our soul, our spirit and the good/bad cells of our body(s)and start working for Eternity as "ONE" Family and "IT" could certainly be a big JOB so maybe we should start immediately? Right NOW?! If you get my drift. Go Figure!

    God Bless Peace

  12. Wow, so many awesome comments! I have to say, I am very new to this blogging, and wasn't sure if I should be responding to each comment or how that is done.
    DD, it was for YOU, that I started my blog, I want you to know, others have taken the journey you are on, and are extremely happy as a result.
    Victor, I had to read with a double take, that story sounds too much like a story in my own past, I never forgot it, but never expected to see it in print either.
    I thank you all for your encouragement. There really is so many things I want to share, and hope to get them organized in my mind to do them justice.
    I love the line, "Daddy's little girl" Yes indeed, as my beloved patron Saint always said, Daddy loves His children, and I am so grateful He allowed to reclaim my life as His child. A blessing that I just want to share with the world!
    God bless all of you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  13. Nice post Mrs. J. although I know the whole story I like the short verse.....

  14. Thank you for sharing your remarkable conversion story with us! I had to be hit with a few 2x4's myself before God got my attention! May our Lord bless you and inspire you as you continue your journey to Him. I'm looking forward to reading future posts!

  15. Thank you Mary,
    I've been praying on my next post, so many things to share. I love being back in the state of Grace!
    God bless and keep you!
    Pax Christi

  16. God bless.

    A recent convert from atheism. You'd know her and probably know this article - but for my own conscience.